new dreams. to meet people, to be able to talk to in person and become friends with those whose words have touched and moved me for so long. to stay hungry, to stop milk and start meat, to become more like those i admire and am challenged by.
fear of the unknown. more specifically, fear that life and next steps are unknown. and yet, peace that comes from God through encouragement and fellowship, and waiting for Him.
old-time, feel-good shows on netflix that we doubted at first, but with which we soon fell in love and for which we finish our work each day.
seamless blue skies that i take for granted and oh, can't i just soak it up, write it down, breathe it in?
sad stories that i begin to end in the warm sunlight of the corner booth at Panera, where i wish i had a southern sweet tea but instead i got a cold frappe.
stories that i finish in the car, in the parking lot amidst errands, when i can't hold back my tears, although i've never had trouble with that before, and i cry, but the drops of saltwater cloud the edges of my contacts and leave a clear line of sight in the middle, enough to see that the bombings were real and Liesel wants to describe the sky for Max. (the book thief - markus zusak)
surprising conversations that start in Spanish and end in English, that begin with not understanding and finish in laughter.
orange stargazers that my teacher offers me after a science project because the smell is too strong for her, so she sends them with me and instructions to put them in fresh water because they're wilting and the smell's not too strong for me.
tears. those same drops of saltwater that have never really spilled from my eyes when they water, but now have become a part of me, a more regular thing this year, melting my heart and making things easier. five deaths, two funerals, plenty of heartache.
"break my heart for what breaks Yours, everything i am for Your kingdom's cause." Jesus. the One Who will truly work through this gray and dreary season and grow fruit from this dry soil.
+++
winter
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